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Old 09-03-18, 04:10 AM   #10
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 12
Default Re: HD Wife said she was leaving me today.........

Originally Posted by Spanishgraeme View Post
During one of her mood swings, my wife, told me today that she was leaving me, never wanted to see me again and she wasn't going to let me know where she was going.
That was all about 3 hours ago and she hasn't done anything other than get dressed.
It's only 10:15pm but I've decided to head off to bed. I can't sit up all night, with her, on the off chance that she decides to walk out. As I'm writing this I'm thinking.........but that's exactly what I should do. I should be with her....I should be watching, in case she wanders off.
I don't think that I can live like that though. I want her to be safe. I want her to know that I'm looking after her best interests.
I don't think that I can function if I'm Frazzled all the time though.
If anyone else has had to deal with threats to leave and can offer any guidance. Please let me know.
I can't decide what is the next step if decides to go walkabout.
At the moment, anyone trying to assess her state of mind would likely decide that she simply doesn't like me anymore. I know that it's the HD.
Trying to convince anyone else would be difficult as she presents as fairly plausible.

Hope everyone else is having a good day
I realise you posted a while ago- hope you have had some positive times since. You have reminded me of the rollercoaster that I lived for several years, my hubby has been in full time care for 5 years now. I didnt realise the impact it had on me at the time, but was hugely stressful. I dont believe the threats were made rationally- I didnt know he had HD half the time, so at least there was a reason. I think the only way I survived was to understand I had a fairly fatalistic approach to life - what will be, will be. You are not responsible , alone , for your wife. She makes her own decisions and threats without appreciating the impact it has on others ( you) . I heard a psychiatrist a an HDA family conference describe HD as "adult onset autism" Also that the feedback loops in the brain which tell you how others react emotionally to you are faulty/damaged. I hope that makes sense. It helped me understand better. The "going walk about" is hard. Sometimes he did it on a motorbike ( fast) , or on clifftops near our home, or in the rain, or once in a kayak at 10pm! I couldnt go out and look, my priority was to kids at home. Now I realise part of that behaviour is just getting head space.The "presenting plausibly" to others is hard too.
Not sure if it helps - take care of yourself too please.
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