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Old 05-04-18, 11:42 AM   #5
Gabby
Approved Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Berkshire
Posts: 371
Default Re: HD Dad, house move

Quote:
Originally Posted by PlymouthE View Post
Hi all,

I've not joined before but I feel now that I could do with the help and support of a community who are familiar with the symptoms of HD. My dad was diagnosed maybe a year ago or so but we knew he had it before that, as both his mum and his brother had it and he was symptomatic for a long time. I found out in a particularly nasty way, from my mum who was confessing her affair to me at the time and using it as an excuse. I was asked to keep this affair secret from my dad for a year, unless it 'made me more ill' (I have a history of depression and anxiety). This all came out in the wash in the last two years and now they are separated, I have moved with my dad in order to help him set up his new house and because I'm not well enough to live on my own. I didn't want to live with my mum because we don't get on, she is quite toxic.



We moved about three weeks ago and are still sorting the house out but I'm finding it difficult to get on with my dad sometimes. I feel guilty because he's not really advanced- he is medically retired but he can care for himself. I would not consider myself a carer, though I help sometimes with things when I think he's having trouble. But we have arguments where anything I say will kick him off, he's on citalopram but hasn't had it in a week. I know that my anti-depressants need a raise because I'm irritable and I'm finding it difficult to get up in the mornings. I was quite happy working 5 days a week before and need to get back into that. I'm helping with putting pictures up today and we were doing that for about an hour and a half, he objected to me then spending 10 minutes reading my book and when he went out to get some picture fittings, we then had an argument because I said I wasn't going to clean the bathroom while he was out.

I am happy to help, but he doesn't seem to recognise that I have my own stuff to be getting on with during the day and not all spare time is to be directed by him. I want to live with him and to help but I want my own time during the day too, both breaks and time for applying for jobs/internships etc.
Am I being overdramatic?

Its a hard time moving very stressful and will effect both of you .. upping your medication may help and your dad certainly needs to take his or have a review and maybe change them .. why has he not taken them for a week ?
Once you get house sorted and into some kind of routine it may improve , could you have a discussion with him when you are both
calm about what you need to be able to do and what he can do . So you both
know where you stand .
If hes in early stages you should still be able to have a life I work full time my husband has been retired due to symptoms for about 3/4 years he still manages most things for himself like you I don't consider myself a carer .
The book Hurry up and wait by Jimmy Pollard is helpful in understanding some of the issues that can occur not being able to wait for what they want but also having to wait for them to get motivated or think about things that you need want .

Hope things settle a bit

Gabby
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