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Old 05-04-18, 12:40 AM   #4
Rainbows1034
New Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 3
Default Re: HD Dad, house move

Hi,

I really feel for you. My dad has HD too and my mom did not see it as her responsibility to care for him. This did not make sense to me, because I did not chose to have him as a dad, instead she chose him as a husband. They divorced before my dad was officially diagnosed, so there was no one to take care of my dad besides me and my siblings. Do you have siblings? An aunt or uncle? Grandparents? Lean on these people all you can.

I would also recommend trying to take up as many hobbies as you can. Perhaps some hobbies that you can do at home, while you are looking after your dad. Start a blog or instagram page. Knit. Read. Do yoga. Practice meditation. Learn a new language. Answer posts on here!

You have to remind yourself everyday that, most likely, how your dad acts is just the HD talking.

Good luck to you. I admire your courage and compassion.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PlymouthE View Post
Hi all,

I've not joined before but I feel now that I could do with the help and support of a community who are familiar with the symptoms of HD. My dad was diagnosed maybe a year ago or so but we knew he had it before that, as both his mum and his brother had it and he was symptomatic for a long time. I found out in a particularly nasty way, from my mum who was confessing her affair to me at the time and using it as an excuse. I was asked to keep this affair secret from my dad for a year, unless it 'made me more ill' (I have a history of depression and anxiety). This all came out in the wash in the last two years and now they are separated, I have moved with my dad in order to help him set up his new house and because I'm not well enough to live on my own. I didn't want to live with my mum because we don't get on, she is quite toxic.

We moved about three weeks ago and are still sorting the house out but I'm finding it difficult to get on with my dad sometimes. I feel guilty because he's not really advanced- he is medically retired but he can care for himself. I would not consider myself a carer, though I help sometimes with things when I think he's having trouble. But we have arguments where anything I say will kick him off, he's on citalopram but hasn't had it in a week. I know that my anti-depressants need a raise because I'm irritable and I'm finding it difficult to get up in the mornings. I was quite happy working 5 days a week before and need to get back into that. I'm helping with putting pictures up today and we were doing that for about an hour and a half, he objected to me then spending 10 minutes reading my book and when he went out to get some picture fittings, we then had an argument because I said I wasn't going to clean the bathroom while he was out.

I am happy to help, but he doesn't seem to recognise that I have my own stuff to be getting on with during the day and not all spare time is to be directed by him. I want to live with him and to help but I want my own time during the day too, both breaks and time for applying for jobs/internships etc.
Am I being overdramatic?
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