View Single Post
Old 22-08-17, 08:48 PM   #1
Approved Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Shrewsbury
Posts: 214
Default Keep moving if you can

For those that don't know me I am HD positive and have many symptoms which I find a constant daily battle and I am feeling tired, battered and bruised and I regularly want to throw in the towel, it's been such a long slog. Despite going to bed calm, I wake up every day an absolute monster with so much anger within me which I am no longer able to contain, it like having Tourette's, I am no longer able to chose my words carefully it all just tumbles out. Being a monster with a capital M impacts severely on anyone who is brave enough to come into my space. With Gary unable to cope and our rows escalating to crisis, I now take my monster to the gym. I very reluctantly leave my home every morning and because I can't contain my venom I no longer walk with Gary to the gym I meet him at the door because I am unable to go in on my own. I get on the treadmill for 30 minutes which I hate and I push and push until the monster is gone and afterwards I can on the whole, stay quiet and calm for the rest of the day. Going to the gym has not done anything that I hoped it would, like make me walk faster, stop me from getting out of puff or make me feel better but if it gets rid of the venom and gives me the ability to speak to Gary in a calm way then it's got to be worth it. I also do 15 minutes of very small weights after my 30 minutes treadmill and because of my slowing walking pace, I have increased my walking and walk as often as I can. If I sit for any length of time even for a short coffee stop, I find nothing wants to work and I have to push myself off until I find my walking rhythm again and I'm away. I'm not in any pain I just can't do it, it's if everything switches off whilst I'm inactive. I've lost count of the number of times I've told Gary that I'm not renewing my gym membership or I'm not going tomorrow, I find it one huge chore. My mum was falling and since going to the gym I have not, my balance is still off and I lump into anything and everything but I don't go over. I do believe though that my physical ability is much worse when I have periods of inactivity. I like walking through the park best, I like the smells and the air and the trees and sounds of the children playing and the dogs and boats and as I am able to still walk independently I feel blessed and grateful for that. I don't enjoy much but on our walk back we stop off at the coffee van and I have my ginger tea and sometimes a chocolate cookie and the world seems a little better and Gary might even get a smile. Best wishes to you all. Lily
LECS is offline   Reply With Quote