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UK legal, insurance, employment, benefits, statutory services Advice offered by HDA Moderators relates to current UK law or guidelines

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Old 23-07-08, 06:08 PM   #1
katiepie
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Default Now I'm Worried.

Just had a telephone convo from my sis, from what I could grasp it was a catalogue of woe. Shes hurt herself by falling several times, got lost going somewhere and taken all night to get home. Has an injured back and no cat litter and my nephew went and stopped out all night. I'm suprised and kicking myself, living so far away I cannot help her. During our chat it seems some kind people from the NHS dropped in to see how they can help her.

I think maybe she sees that she needs more help.

A worried Kath
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Old 23-07-08, 06:30 PM   #2
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Default Re: Now I'm Worried.

hi Kath, the fact that the NHS dropped by suggests your Sister is being helped and should lead to further help if necessary.

The nephew does not, I'm afraid, enter the equation as any type of caring role in the eyes of the Social Services. Children are seen as 'having their own lives' and you cannot rely on them for care (in the eyes of the SS). I guess you are frustrated he was not around to help or raise the alarm and I can see how you feel he could have made the situation better.

The distance thing is only part of the equation and even if you were next door you might not be aware of everything happening and able to rescue.

I think you should take some comfort from the fact that the NHS are taking an interest and will set the wheels in motion for any care package. Maybe ask to talk to them next time they call and express your concerns?

That's all I can think of at present.
Brian.
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Old 23-07-08, 06:43 PM   #3
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Default Re: Now I'm Worried.

I am worried for both of them Brian. He obviously has issues, I feel my nephew has been acting in a caring role for many years, and is also suffering. Shes hopefully going to be moved to somewhere more suitable to her needs.

If it wern't for the baby I'd have booked a flight by now. She was asking over and over for me to arrange a passport for her so she can stay here for a week. Definatly a cry for help. I wish I were there right now at least I could help manage day to day issues and calm her fears.
I'm sure everything will be oki eventually.
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Old 23-07-08, 06:53 PM   #4
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Default Re: Now I'm Worried.

hi Kath, if the nephew has been supported by the SS then he may be ok but if they have let him carry the burden of care too much then yes, he will be in need of tlc.

Let's hope that, like a lot of youngsters, he has more resiliance than we think and will be better with things once his Mother is getting the care package she needs.

Brian.
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Old 23-07-08, 06:55 PM   #5
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Default Re: Now I'm Worried.

Fingers crossed for them both
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Old 23-07-08, 07:55 PM   #6
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Default Re: Now I'm Worried.

Kath if your nephew wants to chat, I'm around most days.
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Old 23-07-08, 08:06 PM   #7
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Default Re: Now I'm Worried.

Not a lot I can do apart from send you a hug.
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Fetchez la vache.
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Old 23-07-08, 08:09 PM   #8
katiepie
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Default Re: Now I'm Worried.

He is always running wild in NA with his mates, I have yet to get hold of him face to face. Waiting for these nice nhs people to mail me,

thanks DH and Matt
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Old 23-07-08, 09:09 PM   #9
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Default Re: Now I'm Worried.

Hi Kath,

You must feel helpless, hope you get some peace of mind soon.
X
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Old 23-07-08, 09:26 PM   #10
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Default Re: Now I'm Worried.

So I just spent alot of emotional energy writing this mail to my sisters HDA RCA:

Hi Susan,

I was wondering if you have been in contact with my sister Sharon and her son Lucas, my sister is mid stage HD and living in what I would descirbe as unsuitable conditions. I am sure she has been offered better accomodation but she feels scared going into unknown areas so has refused these offers.
She phoned me this evening and while she can still communicate effectivly, being able to understand all she says on the phone is impossible. What I could grasp was this:

She has issues with her son, (I feel her son has issues enough also). Violence is not uncommon.
She cannot manage to bath herself without help.
She falls frequently and I think is under some stress making falling more likely.
Can't manage her financial matters so that she has enough money for things at the end of the week.

For some reason I didn't understand, she got lost and ended up somewhere miles away taking her till morning to walk home?

As you can see from one conversation I have heard quite enough to make me extreemly worried. Were I residing in the UK I would be round to hers and helping to sort out whatever problems she has. I could also help her settle into better accomodation, and not be scared.
Alas I live in Italy and I have a 9 month old little girl who I cannot take to my sisters as the two of them require lots of hands on care and Sharon smokes (alot). I am hoping when Baby is a little older she will stay here and I can fly over to visit, (Mum, brother and Sharon all hd+)

Sharon has very good help in the form of daily carers visiting her home, but she can still manage to find scrapes to get into when left alone.

While I was on the phone to Sharon, an ***** **** visited her to try and help her with these issues, she works for the slam mental health unit. I have emailed her my details.

Would it be possible for you to look into matters for me and see if you can understand what is happening. Sharon has asked me to organise a passport for her but I cannot do all the particulars from this end. She asked me repeatedly if she could come and stay here. As much as she is welcome, I feel she needs rehousing first and then maybe we can organise a trip when she has an ehic and I can come over to fly her back here. Flying herself I feel she cannot manage.

Yours Respectfully

Katherine Maxted


I got an auto reply

Due to annual leave I will be out of the office until Wednesday 13 August. Sorry, please contact me on my return.

Sometimes I feel an online RCA advisor is a good idea.
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