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Old 29-09-14, 05:08 PM   #1
Chezzylou
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Default stressed worried and not sure where to turn

Sorry for the double post. . I accidentally posted in wrong place. Hi I'm Siobhan. I'm 23 and I have been dating a guy (29) for about 3 months now and he's recently been tested positive for HD. I was wondering if you nice people could give me some advice and help of what to expect from now on.
I have been told by a lot of people (including him) to back out of the relationship. But I'm not sure I want to. I want to know everything I can before making a decision. Iv seen him over the past few months watch his mum (phobia only 50) dying from this and I want children. I'm not sure how I feel about having children who will go through watching their parent go through this. I feel like such a selfish person for having these thoughts because it's him who is going through all of this. I feel like I have the right to be thinking these thoughts. Is there anyone who can help?


I realise Iv already posted this but I think I'v put it in the wrong forum part.
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Old 29-09-14, 06:20 PM   #2
Allan
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Location: Hastings, East Sussex, UK
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Default Re: stressed worried and not sure where to turn

Hi Chezzielou\Siobhan

Rather than describe the situation in words I thought it might be better for you to, initially, watch these short videos. They might help to "visualise" any reading that you might have already done:

http://vimeo.com/annalukala/5050davidpat
http://vimeo.com/annalukala/5050carrol
http://vimeo.com/annalukala/5050meganben
http://vimeo.com/annalukala/5050uclh
http://vimeo.com/annalukala/5050gary

Also have a look at the excellent http://en.hdyo.org/eve/videos [over 30 videos here] on the wonderful HDYO website.

Because you are currently in "no-man's-land" I am just trying to help but I do realise that this might be going too far too fast - too much - for you. Apologies if that is the case.
,
,
,
,
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New Day; New Outlook; New Challenges; New Possibilities; New Outcomes; New Successes
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Old 29-09-14, 10:10 PM   #3
toosh
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Default Re: stressed worried and not sure where to turn

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chezzylou View Post
Sorry for the double post. . I accidentally posted in wrong place. Hi I'm Siobhan. I'm 23 and I have been dating a guy (29) for about 3 months now and he's recently been tested positive for HD. I was wondering if you nice people could give me some advice and help of what to expect from now on.
I have been told by a lot of people (including him) to back out of the relationship. But I'm not sure I want to. I want to know everything I can before making a decision. Iv seen him over the past few months watch his mum (phobia only 50) dying from this and I want children. I'm not sure how I feel about having children who will go through watching their parent go through this. I feel like such a selfish person for having these thoughts because it's him who is going through all of this. I feel like I have the right to be thinking these thoughts. Is there anyone who can help?


I realise Iv already posted this but I think I'v put it in the wrong forum part.
Hi Chezzylou

Please don't feel selfish about having these thoughts it is only natural as it affects your future. All I would say to is that no-one knows what the future holds for them. It's a massive decision for you and only you know how much you feel for your fella. I think you said in a previous post that his mothers symptoms started at 30. That is quite young. I wouldn't swap my hubby for the world, don't get me wrong I could murder him at times but then I fell for him in ignorance of HD. We have had a great life together but his symptoms have only really started to detoriate in the past 18 months or so. He is 57.
Not sure this is really going to help you.
Good Luck with whatever decision you make. Fingers crossed your fella might be young enough to benefit from the research that is going on.
Love From Toosh
xxxxx
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Old 29-12-14, 05:59 AM   #4
shiraz
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Default Re: stressed worried and not sure where to turn

Hi - I can understand how concerned you must be. You shouldn't feel bad about confronting this - it is the sensible thing to do as it will impact on your whole life. But remember, none of us know what the future holds, when we meet and marry and have kids etc., we always just want the best but tragedy can strike us all. You could, for instance, yourself get some dreadful illness one day - or there could be a cure for this one day.

SO, it all comes down to love. Only you can make that decision, and like CC has said, I have had many wonderful years with my husband and though his HD is apparent now and there are many hardships I still love him and will do my utmost to care for him. You could have many symptom-free years and have time to prepare yourself for the future. I have to confess that had I known he had this condition I would still have married him - but I was younger and more foolish then - better the devil you know!!

The difficult question to me here is regards your desire to have children - we luckily did not have any, and all I can say is that because of the HD I am glad we did not. But, there are avenues to explore here - AI for instance.

Wish you well.
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