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Old 15-12-13, 03:30 PM   #1
tommy
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Default the way my wife was insulted at asda

my wife and our children went shoping in asda park royal on 2 of nov this year ,as she tried to purchase some fireworks she was refused service and accused of been drunk and also asked did she think she was capable of driving a car this was said to her in front of other customors this greatly upset my wife who left the store crying and distress,my teenage daughter went back in and told one of the managers about this,and was told it was asda poicly not to sell fire works to people that were drunk,my daughter explained my wifes condiction and felf they did not belive her I made a complaint to asda head office on 3 different occasions,we were invited to visit the store and speak to the manager on 11 dec as we sat down the first thing he said to my wife was this had not happened as she she said,and then asked who had tried to buy a bottle of jack daniels wiskey which of course was untrue as my wife does not drink,this greatly upset my wife and we left the meeting straight away,as my wife was greatly distressed by what he said,less the 24 hours later we had to call for a ambulance for her as she had suffered a fit that caused her to collase and her whole body to twitch and jerk for 4 hours and she was admitted to charring cross hospital she had to been given iv lorazepam to help stop the jerking and twitching ,and we were told that they would try and get her a appointment to see dr Vaughan consultant neurologist asap, we need advice and support as to the way she was treated at asda in park royal as we feel the way she was insulted and humiliated brang on this attack to her body so please help if you can as we need need all the support we can get thank you all for reading our story tommy
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Old 15-12-13, 10:05 PM   #2
dennisw
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Default Re: the way my wife was insulted at asda

Hi Tommy,
Sadly the experience you wife had is not unusual.
The head office have a laminated card, size of a credit card that explains the carrier has DH and what it is. They will personalise it if if you phone them.
You could ask your Regional Care Advisor to make contact with the Manager and explain to him what HD is.
One of our Branch members on a trip to London with his wife who is the suffer, was refused entry into a restaurant as they claimed she was drunk. They appealed to a policeman nearby who did nothing.
This is one of the many reasons why increasing awareness is so important.
Big supermarkets are featuring in national news papers a lot with silly examples of checkout staff making silly judgements, and the management stick up for them. Apparently The way the law is now, it is the checkout worker that goes to court not the store in cases of things like sale of alcohol to under 18's.
You could try writing and sending HD leaflet about HD and suggesting they look on YOUTUBE and search Huntington's Disease and see what the symptoms look like.
However, I doubt they will change there stance.
Dennis
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Old 15-12-13, 10:24 PM   #3
Trish
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Default Re: the way my wife was insulted at asda

First of all Tommy may I extend a huge hug to you and your wife and children ((HUGS)))

I lost my Hubby to HD in 2011 and share your disgust at the way your wife has been treated by ASDA. I suspect it is no coincidence that she has had a turn for the worse having been through such a distressing episode as HD can be affected by stress and trauma from my own understanding.

May I suggest, if you have not already done so, you contact your Regional Care Adviser. SEE HERE FOR YOUR RCA

Apart from helping on a practical level, I am hoping the HDA may be able to help by writing to ASDA HQ on letterhead (cc the Branch) to ask for a formal apology and providing more information on the illness It's clear ASDA could do with some awareness training. I'd be tempted to write to the local Press but I can understand if your wife and family would prefer it not go that public. So sad though that they treat people as such.

I have a poetry book I wrote on HD. See the below poem where I too thought more needed to be said:

The Sufferer

Introduction

This poem tries to convey how society sometimes judges and poorly treats HD sufferers. There are many different ways in which a person with HD may be misjudged by society, but I have used the assumption of being drunk in the poem.

My poor husband experienced a lot of ignorant looks of disdain and cruel comments, but apart from wearing a tee-shirt emblazoned with something like ‘I am not drunk, I have HD!’ what can you do? Even then the tee shirt would have to explain what HD is on the back.

Sadly there are occasions where people with HD are assumed by members of the public to be drunk to the extent of calling the police where they have fallen; their behaviour leads people to assume police intervention is required as opposed to medical intervention.


She sits in chair while people stare,
Her body thin and weak.
She cannot stand; control her hand;
She slurs when trying to speak.

A passing stranger gives a look,
As if to say, ‘You’re drunk!’
A common thing, to look at her,
And think ‘how low she’s sunk!’

If only they knew half the truth,
Perhaps their scorn would stop?
Her genes the blame for all her shame;
She hasn’t touched a drop.

And yet the filthy looks go on,
And ignorance is rife.
She knows that things will get worse still;
She knows this is her life.


I have just put out a tweet 'Shame on you ASDA at Park Royal for treating HD sufferers so badly! Please RT.
I don't suppose they will get back to me but I will say I have heard that they treated a genuinely ill person in a very poor manner. I can't obviously go into detail with them on your behalf but they will be very embarrassed to be the subject of a tweet. Not as embarrassed as your pooor wife was thouh bless her!
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Old 16-12-13, 12:30 AM   #4
Allan
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Default Re: the way my wife was insulted at asda

I sincerely hope staff at HDA headquarters and the Chief Executive pick this up immediately and make an informed response on behalf of Tommy's wife and family.

We all arrive at this message board asking for help and advice. The best way to give help in this instance is from the top. Members of the message board give out hugs and personal advice. Tommy's request needs immediate action from the HDA - which exists to help and care for its members.

I hope RCA Moderators are doing their job right now - viewing this board and passing on Tommy's request for advice and support on to a higher authority.

Assuming that Park Royal is close to your home, Tommy, your RCA is Jeanette McMullen
020 82073490
jeanette.mcmullen@hda.org.uk

The Disability Discrimination Act 1995 (DDA) gives people with disabilities important rights not to be discriminated against:

in accessing everyday goods and services like shops, cafés, banks, cinemas and places of worship. [I think "accessing" probably means ramps, wide doors and toilet facilities - but it surely includes a human-to-human staff approach in dealing with all customers accessing and purchasing everyday goods].

I'm sure others will come on board and offer further advice.

We are all fighting our personal battles, Tommy - All for One and One for All.

Allan
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Old 16-12-13, 10:56 AM   #5
Boydee
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Default Re: the way my wife was insulted at asda

Quote:
Originally Posted by tommy View Post
my wife and our children went shoping in asda park royal on 2 of nov this year ,as she tried to purchase some fireworks she was refused service and accused of been drunk and also asked did she think she was capable of driving a car this was said to her in front of other customors this greatly upset my wife who left the store crying and distress,my teenage daughter went back in and told one of the managers about this,and was told it was asda poicly not to sell fire works to people that were drunk,my daughter explained my wifes condiction and felf they did not belive her I made a complaint to asda head office on 3 different occasions,we were invited to visit the store and speak to the manager on 11 dec as we sat down the first thing he said to my wife was this had not happened as she she said,and then asked who had tried to buy a bottle of jack daniels wiskey which of course was untrue as my wife does not drink,this greatly upset my wife and we left the meeting straight away,as my wife was greatly distressed by what he said,less the 24 hours later we had to call for a ambulance for her as she had suffered a fit that caused her to collase and her whole body to twitch and jerk for 4 hours and she was admitted to charring cross hospital she had to been given iv lorazepam to help stop the jerking and twitching ,and we were told that they would try and get her a appointment to see dr Vaughan consultant neurologist asap, we need advice and support as to the way she was treated at asda in park royal as we feel the way she was insulted and humiliated brang on this attack to her body so please help if you can as we need need all the support we can get thank you all for reading our story tommy
Hi Tommy your details have been forwarded to the RCA that covers where you live and she will make contact with you today by email. Also the organisation is truly upset about the treatment that you received in ASDA and will support you with an official complaint. If you can give all of the details to Jeanette when she makes contact she will support you to take this forward. Unfortunately the organisation has had to do this several times in the past as there is a lack of awareness around HD but we will ensure that this situation will not arise again in that store and any others that we are made aware of. We hope that now you have an RCA on board that things will greatly improve for you and your family. Kind Regards Boydee
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Old 16-12-13, 02:16 PM   #6
Scooby
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Default Re: the way my wife was insulted at asda

Firstly Tommy, welcome to the messy board but so sorry for the reason you are here.

Sadly as you will find your wife's situation is all too familiar for sufferers and their families.

I have a daughter with HD and a son who sadly passed away 4 years ago now. We have encountered many such incidents as you have had.

My daughter has a son and one day in the earlier stages when he was quite young out on a shopping trip in the town she was approached by a couple of police officer who informed her that concerned onlookers had reported her to them as they thought it inappropriate that she was in charge of a child was under the influence. Fortunately my daughter had the presence of mind to explain her illness and the police accepted her explanation. Although no real harm was done on that particular occasion, my daughters confidence was shredded and she felt humiliated by the experience.

There were of course many, many more harmful experiences but that is an example just to show sadly you are not alone.

There were many occasions when it is absolutely right to complain also and you do have that right.

Best wishes

Sue x
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Old 16-12-13, 03:23 PM   #7
tommy
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Default Re: the way my wife was insulted at asda

thank you all so much for all your strength and support would been grateful if all of you nice people would consider e mailing your thoughs of how my wife was treated at asda to rahima.ali @asda.co.uk
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Old 16-12-13, 03:27 PM   #8
tommy
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Default Re: the way my wife was insulted at asda

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooby View Post
Firstly Tommy, welcome to the messy board but so sorry for the reason you are here.

Sadly as you will find your wife's situation is all too familiar for sufferers and their families.

I have a daughter with HD and a son who sadly passed away 4 years ago now. We have encountered many such incidents as you have had.

My daughter has a son and one day in the earlier stages when he was quite young out on a shopping trip in the town she was approached by a couple of police officer who informed her that concerned onlookers had reported her to them as they thought it inappropriate that she was in charge of a child was under the influence. Fortunately my daughter had the presence of mind to explain her illness and the police accepted her explanation. Although no real harm was done on that particular occasion, my daughters confidence was shredded and she felt humiliated by the experience.

There were of course many, many more harmful experiences but that is an example just to show sadly you are not alone.

There were many occasions when it is absolutely right to complain also and you do have that right.

Best wishes

Sue x
thank you so much for your support
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Old 16-12-13, 03:28 PM   #9
tommy
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Posts: 11
Default Re: the way my wife was insulted at asda

Quote:
Originally Posted by dennisw View Post
Hi Tommy,
Sadly the experience you wife had is not unusual.
The head office have a laminated card, size of a credit card that explains the carrier has DH and what it is. They will personalise it if if you phone them.
You could ask your Regional Care Advisor to make contact with the Manager and explain to him what HD is.
One of our Branch members on a trip to London with his wife who is the suffer, was refused entry into a restaurant as they claimed she was drunk. They appealed to a policeman nearby who did nothing.
This is one of the many reasons why increasing awareness is so important.
Big supermarkets are featuring in national news papers a lot with silly examples of checkout staff making silly judgements, and the management stick up for them. Apparently The way the law is now, it is the checkout worker that goes to court not the store in cases of things like sale of alcohol to under 18's.
You could try writing and sending HD leaflet about HD and suggesting they look on YOUTUBE and search Huntington's Disease and see what the symptoms look like.
However, I doubt they will change there stance.
Dennis
thank you for your support tommy
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Old 16-12-13, 03:32 PM   #10
tommy
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 11
Default Re: the way my wife was insulted at asda

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooby View Post
Firstly Tommy, welcome to the messy board but so sorry for the reason you are here.

Sadly as you will find your wife's situation is all too familiar for sufferers and their families.

I have a daughter with HD and a son who sadly passed away 4 years ago now. We have encountered many such incidents as you have had.

My daughter has a son and one day in the earlier stages when he was quite young out on a shopping trip in the town she was approached by a couple of police officer who informed her that concerned onlookers had reported her to them as they thought it inappropriate that she was in charge of a child was under the influence. Fortunately my daughter had the presence of mind to explain her illness and the police accepted her explanation. Although no real harm was done on that particular occasion, my daughters confidence was shredded and she felt humiliated by the experience.

There were of course many, many more harmful experiences but that is an example just to show sadly you are not alone.

There were many occasions when it is absolutely right to complain also and you do have that right.

Best wishes

Sue x
thank you all for all your support tommy
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