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Old 30-05-18, 03:33 PM   #1
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 2
Default How to cope

Hi this is my first time posting
My wife was diagnosed 3 years ago and is know 45
I have been looking at the forum for some ideas how to cope with this because to be honest I am not coping very well.
My wifeís mood swings are almost daily and turn into arguments my wife was taking anti depressants but stopped recently as they were making her spaced out which I agree they did but is now taking no medication but instead seeming to be drinking more alcohol to help cope, I now itís the disease thatís causing this, but I am struggling to change my mindset to itís the disease not my wife.
If I try and broach the subject it turns into an argument that itís me that is the problem. I donít know what to do?
Can anyone help???
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Old 31-05-18, 08:17 PM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Cornwall
Posts: 28
Default Re: How to cope

my husband was diagnosed 3 years ago too he has bad mood swings he refuses to take mirtazipine but is taking olanzipne most days. its an uphill battle we argue because i cant trust him to take his pills and if he doesnt he is scary to live with. he smashes things and has huge temper tantrums i try to ignore the problems as much as i can. im having counselling once a week which is helping me. i talk to his doctor and specialist for help when i can. its a hard road to walk, he doesnt realise when he is being irrational. best you can do is make the doctor aware of how things are.
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Old 31-05-18, 11:50 PM   #3
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Hastings, East Sussex, UK
Posts: 1,155
Default Re: How to cope

Hi there folks

This is just a quickie as itís fast approaching midnight and I have to be elsewhere Ö

Itís really difficult but youíve just got to find ďthe way inĒ. In a lot of my message board posts I suggest that youíve got to spend a few days\weeks\months in the hd-persons shoes - or cross over the tracks so that you can make a parallel journey, day-by-day, just to experience the enormous changes and difficulties that they are experiencing.

Have a look at these posts from recent times:

Hope some of that makes some sort of sense. The most important thing though is to get a local team on board. That includes your HDA Specialist HD Advisor (phone HQ); Social Services (for Adult Social Care Assessment) provide a Social Worker and Occupational Therapist; GP\Neurologist (for referral to various local NHS agencies including Psychologist, Psychologist, etc).

Best wishes Ö

New Day; New Outlook; New Challenges; New Possibilities; New Outcomes; New Successes
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Old 22-06-18, 02:00 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: USA, NY
Posts: 2
Default Re: How to cope

You should be strong. This is a hard disease.
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Old 06-07-18, 11:27 AM   #5
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Essex
Posts: 220
Default Re: How to cope

Hi Smurf,

I have been symptomatic for the last 3 years, my missus was the 1st to pick up on my mood swings and grumpiness. I have tried 'mirtazipine ' it was horrible, made me really tired - sapped the life out of me, but we went to the docs and I think I tried another 4 types of anti-depressants and eventually settled on Citalopram.. Has your wife tried different anti-depressants.. its well worth it.
I can understand why she doesnt like talking about it with you bcause I was in her shoes once and no-one likes to hear they are getting grumpy and moody.. I kinda decided for myself that I needed help when I was ultra grumpy with the kids and went way over the top and ended up with everyone crying... it was an eye opener.. got me thinking maybe the wife is right!

Turns out she was.. as she almost always is! ;)

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