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Old 10-09-17, 06:06 PM   #1
frankie
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Default Psychosis

My HD person , seems to have lost his mind . I accept his anger and frustrations with life and the awful cards he's been dealt .
Unfortunately he won't see any medical people for help . He's accusing us of ridiculous things , like poisoning him, and much worse . He is throwing food away and his anti depressants .
It has reached the point where he needs a mental health assessment but he won't allow anyone into his home .
Where do I start ?
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Old 10-09-17, 11:12 PM   #2
Cupcake
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Default Re: Psychosis

This is where it gets really tricky, as things will start to deteriorate even more without the anti depressants. If he won't have people into the home is there a hospital appt or doctors appt soon, where you may be able to raise your concerns.

On the occasions Martins psychosis took over and we had someone to the house, I let them in, he was very bad to be fair and he was upstairs and would not speak to them, they went half way upstairs and asked to speak to him, he refused and they discussed with him, the things I had said, and it would be better to come down and talk about it, sometimes he did, and they were able to assess him, increase mess,sometimes it meant hospitalisation, and once when he would not, they can back with another doctor and then just told him he was going in for assessment, as he was not co operating, and he could either go out to the ambulance walking, or they would have to restrain him to admit him. Strangely although he would put up resistance everytime, with communication and barricade himself in the bedroom, when it came to the final crunch, he would go, although he would then carry on with refusing to come out of his room at the hospital.

If you can get someone to see him, and prescribe some medication to help with the psychosis sooner rather than later, it will make things so much easier for you. So difficult . X
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Old 10-09-17, 11:36 PM   #3
LECS
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Default Re: Psychosis

Quote:
Originally Posted by frankie View Post
My HD person , seems to have lost his mind . I accept his anger and frustrations with life and the awful cards he's been dealt .
Unfortunately he won't see any medical people for help . He's accusing us of ridiculous things , like poisoning him, and much worse . He is throwing food away and his anti depressants .
It has reached the point where he needs a mental health assessment but he won't allow anyone into his home .
Where do I start ?
My heart goes out to him. My mother accused my father of poisoning her and I have criticised many many meals served to me. My mums favourite description after a meal was that was horrible and I now know certainly were she was coming from as I too have thought the same. I've decided it's because I no longer can taste anything, everything tastes pretty much of nothing and I am better with strong flavours. I continuously throw out food because I suddenly believe that I no longer like it and anything I don't like has to go immediately whatever it is. I have lots of moments when I can't remember what foods I do like so I'll get something that I don't like but I've forgotten and then become upset when I remember and out it goes. I have so few foods I can bear that I regularly eat the same stuff most days. Eggs and chicken can particularly cause upset and outburst yet I can't remember it enough if eating out and then eat them, there is no logic to any of it. I'm constantly believing that I have lost my mind and it is very frightening. I do not respond well to anyone trying to put my mind at rest and tell me otherwise I prefer others to try and accommodate my oddities and not argue or challenge my wishes because that just makes everything much worse and it causes me to throw things out. It's not just food with me it's clothes as well, I attach emotion to things so if a food isn't tasty it's out or if an item of clothing doesn't make me feel good it's not allowed to stay even if it's new and I am not able to make a decision so I can't buy any replacements so it can get very difficult. The mind however failing is the one I live by so I have to believe it, however incorrect it is. I don't see anyone, nor would I let in anyone nor would I agree to any mental health assessment and I have refused anti-depressants. My mother behaved exactly the same and I got very upset and frustrated caring for her because she would not let anyone help her. You don't say if your HD person is aware of their actions, my mother was in complete denial whereas I know how poorly my mind is, nevertheless we behaved the same so it doesn't matter. It really important to me that I feel in control of a situation. My mother believed her family was the enemy and we were plotting against her wishes which was completely untrue. I forget what I have in my cupboards I can forget that I have a freezer and I can throw out food and then asked myself why because I want it back I was going to eat it. Is it possible for you to ask why it tastes like poison, is it possible to take the food away but offer it again the next day, all gently, all calmly. Have they been on the medication a long time has it helped if it has, gently tell them it makes them feel better. I don't suggest that you do any of this during a 'red mist' but wait until things are calmer. I wanted my mum to play ball at the time because I wanted it all to stop I couldn't cope with her outbursts and unreasonable behaviour I didn't stop to think how scared she might be feeling. I naively expected a mental health nurse to come in see what I saw and do something but what!! Anyway my mum never agreed and no one came and my dad put is tin hat on and took it in the chin, and tried all over again the next day. He had cupboards of foods she liked for the moment and which never got used when she decided that she no longer liked them. He never knew what he was supposed to do to keep her happy but they fell into a pattern of him putting a meal down in front of her, her eating it and then say afterwards that it was horrible and he would just smile. Knowing what I know now I wish I wasn't that person who demanded something be done. I'm telling my family at the moment to accommodate my wishes or don't bother so I'm the first to realise how hard it is to care about someone with HD but it's important to pick your moment when wanting to discuss an issue, don't tell them that they are in the wrong and that they need sorting out, they have a poorly processor that makes a mind that does not think logically and that believes the whole world is against them so why on earth would you agree to do anything that you asked them to. They are not being difficult on purpose they cannot help saying or feeling as they do and I don't think it has anything to do with the enormity of the illness, I don't dwell on HD as people without do, it's anger and frustration borne out of feeling you are out of step with the rest of the world and it is a scary feeling, you need to take a peek into their world and come up with solutions together that the HD sufferer can be happy with. Instead of saying to my mum don't be stupid dad is not poisoning you I should have said I will see what can be done to stop dad from doing that. Give the HD sufferer patience time and understanding and don't let them feel like a nuisance. I do listen sometimes and can act on what others have asked but it takes me time to process so I like it to be voiced and then leave it for me to process over a few days. I am unable to make a decision in the moment. My mum was ill all of my life and as caring and loving as I was I was never able to change her mind nor did she ever let me help her and I am exactly the same. It might also be worth investigating if there is anything connected to the food, for example I will say that I hate chicken but I don't actually mean that I dislike the taste, it causes me more effort to chew and my mouth is already sore and it means more work on my part cutting it up and I'm tired, so I hate chicken. There is a story behind most things affecting me but it's easier to just say no rather than why. If I say the why then the other person will discuss it and it gets debated and then I don't know what I'm trying to say or answer and I become confused then upset then frustrated then angry and the 'red mist' descends so no is easier. I probably haven't helped at all have I, it is a very difficult to know what will help without knowing the person, I just hope that you manage to find a way forward that works. Best wishes Lily.
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Old 11-09-17, 10:04 AM   #4
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Default Re: Psychosis

Frankie...it's a ghastly place to be, treading on eggshells constantly, scared that it's all going to kick off, knowing you've done nothing wrong but are still getting a barrage of abuse and accused of trying to poison them, insulted constantly - the list goes on!! I used to think my husband was schizophrenic, bipolar, going senile, psychotic, manic - but for sure crazy!! He was vile for no reason and it took me years to get him to go the doctors - course he'd get there, be as nice as pie and declare "I don't know why I'm here, I'm fine - it's her, she needs locking up, she's dangerous"....and off we'd go back home where he would start being verbally abusive all over. It was only when I lost it and hit him that someone from Alzheimers phoned our doctors and insisted that someone come round that he finally started to get help - that started with them deciding he had dementia - he was horrid to the poor doctor and terrified at the same time that I simply wanted to get rid of him/put him in a home - but through perseverance they sent him to see a neurologist and...lo and behold he has hd...so it's the medications that are keeping his behaviour under control....and I have learnt how to be tough/firm and nip any episodes in the bud by facing them straight on - it works here but I'm not saying it would for anyone else.

Not that it helps you any but I think a lot of these outbursts are borne out of fear - they are frightened they are losing their mind and it must be scary. And once they have calmed down they seem to forget all about it, whereas you are left a quivering wreck and scarred for life by the hurt they've caused. But what to do? If you call the Police....he'd never forgive you? Can you not call his doctor and demand they come round? Or his specialist if he has one? Someone from the hda - could they not advise you where to go? Then there is Social Services - they used to ring me asking if he was safe with me - I was the one considered a danger!! Whatever you do it's not going to be easy because you will get no thanks for it but you know things can't simply carry on as they are because the strain on you will literally make you ill and cause you to breakdown. If it's any comfort at all Frankie, I think this sort of behaviour reaches a peak and then as their mind deteriorates they become more compliant and nicer to you - nowadays my husband is constantly saying thankyou and sorry and I'm so grateful for all you do...so...hang on in there

Lily - your reply is so insightful...I have sudden dislikes here, there have been times when we've simply swapped plates because he says I've poisoned his meal so I swap and eat his. And I used to be told everything was disgusting and be told I can't eat that I'll throw up - it would be his favourite meal, roast beef or lamb but I realised it was to do with chewing. And I've learnt what I can give him and to cut it up as it makes it easier to eat - I do it to my food also so things look the same. But I never give a choice of what to eat because if I ask....confusion, he never knows nor ever fancies anything. The only thing he ever wants is a pizza on a Saturday night. It's the same with clothes - he simply doesn't care about his appearance, he has no interest whatsoever or in keeping clean. He hates having a shower and has become frightened of the water but can't tell me why?

I doubt I've helped in any way shape or form Frankie but my heart goes out to you... x
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Old 11-09-17, 02:14 PM   #5
frankie
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Default Re: Psychosis

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cupcake View Post
This is where it gets really tricky, as things will start to deteriorate even more without the anti depressants. If he won't have people into the home is there a hospital appt or doctors appt soon, where you may be able to raise your concerns.

On the occasions Martins psychosis took over and we had someone to the house, I let them in, he was very bad to be fair and he was upstairs and would not speak to them, they went half way upstairs and asked to speak to him, he refused and they discussed with him, the things I had said, and it would be better to come down and talk about it, sometimes he did, and they were able to assess him, increase mess,sometimes it meant hospitalisation, and once when he would not, they can back with another doctor and then just told him he was going in for assessment, as he was not co operating, and he could either go out to the ambulance walking, or they would have to restrain him to admit him. Strangely although he would put up resistance everytime, with communication and barricade himself in the bedroom, when it came to the final crunch, he would go, although he would then carry on with refusing to come out of his room at the hospital.

If you can get someone to see him, and prescribe some medication to help with the psychosis sooner rather than later, it will make things so much easier for you. So difficult . X
Hi CC,

Thank you for your advice . Unfortunately he won't see any medical people but it's reached a crisis point now where he needs an assessment . He is genuinely terrified so it's all heartbreaking for him and I don't want to cause him any distress .
I think the time has come where I have to harden up for his sake .
Thank you so much .
Sorry for your awful experiences xx
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Old 11-09-17, 02:23 PM   #6
frankie
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Default Re: Psychosis

Quote:
Originally Posted by LECS View Post
My heart goes out to him. My mother accused my father of poisoning her and I have criticised many many meals served to me. My mums favourite description after a meal was that was horrible and I now know certainly were she was coming from as I too have thought the same. I've decided it's because I no longer can taste anything, everything tastes pretty much of nothing and I am better with strong flavours. I continuously throw out food because I suddenly believe that I no longer like it and anything I don't like has to go immediately whatever it is. I have lots of moments when I can't remember what foods I do like so I'll get something that I don't like but I've forgotten and then become upset when I remember and out it goes. I have so few foods I can bear that I regularly eat the same stuff most days. Eggs and chicken can particularly cause upset and outburst yet I can't remember it enough if eating out and then eat them, there is no logic to any of it. I'm constantly believing that I have lost my mind and it is very frightening. I do not respond well to anyone trying to put my mind at rest and tell me otherwise I prefer others to try and accommodate my oddities and not argue or challenge my wishes because that just makes everything much worse and it causes me to throw things out. It's not just food with me it's clothes as well, I attach emotion to things so if a food isn't tasty it's out or if an item of clothing doesn't make me feel good it's not allowed to stay even if it's new and I am not able to make a decision so I can't buy any replacements so it can get very difficult. The mind however failing is the one I live by so I have to believe it, however incorrect it is. I don't see anyone, nor would I let in anyone nor would I agree to any mental health assessment and I have refused anti-depressants. My mother behaved exactly the same and I got very upset and frustrated caring for her because she would not let anyone help her. You don't say if your HD person is aware of their actions, my mother was in complete denial whereas I know how poorly my mind is, nevertheless we behaved the same so it doesn't matter. It really important to me that I feel in control of a situation. My mother believed her family was the enemy and we were plotting against her wishes which was completely untrue. I forget what I have in my cupboards I can forget that I have a freezer and I can throw out food and then asked myself why because I want it back I was going to eat it. Is it possible for you to ask why it tastes like poison, is it possible to take the food away but offer it again the next day, all gently, all calmly. Have they been on the medication a long time has it helped if it has, gently tell them it makes them feel better. I don't suggest that you do any of this during a 'red mist' but wait until things are calmer. I wanted my mum to play ball at the time because I wanted it all to stop I couldn't cope with her outbursts and unreasonable behaviour I didn't stop to think how scared she might be feeling. I naively expected a mental health nurse to come in see what I saw and do something but what!! Anyway my mum never agreed and no one came and my dad put is tin hat on and took it in the chin, and tried all over again the next day. He had cupboards of foods she liked for the moment and which never got used when she decided that she no longer liked them. He never knew what he was supposed to do to keep her happy but they fell into a pattern of him putting a meal down in front of her, her eating it and then say afterwards that it was horrible and he would just smile. Knowing what I know now I wish I wasn't that person who demanded something be done. I'm telling my family at the moment to accommodate my wishes or don't bother so I'm the first to realise how hard it is to care about someone with HD but it's important to pick your moment when wanting to discuss an issue, don't tell them that they are in the wrong and that they need sorting out, they have a poorly processor that makes a mind that does not think logically and that believes the whole world is against them so why on earth would you agree to do anything that you asked them to. They are not being difficult on purpose they cannot help saying or feeling as they do and I don't think it has anything to do with the enormity of the illness, I don't dwell on HD as people without do, it's anger and frustration borne out of feeling you are out of step with the rest of the world and it is a scary feeling, you need to take a peek into their world and come up with solutions together that the HD sufferer can be happy with. Instead of saying to my mum don't be stupid dad is not poisoning you I should have said I will see what can be done to stop dad from doing that. Give the HD sufferer patience time and understanding and don't let them feel like a nuisance. I do listen sometimes and can act on what others have asked but it takes me time to process so I like it to be voiced and then leave it for me to process over a few days. I am unable to make a decision in the moment. My mum was ill all of my life and as caring and loving as I was I was never able to change her mind nor did she ever let me help her and I am exactly the same. It might also be worth investigating if there is anything connected to the food, for example I will say that I hate chicken but I don't actually mean that I dislike the taste, it causes me more effort to chew and my mouth is already sore and it means more work on my part cutting it up and I'm tired, so I hate chicken. There is a story behind most things affecting me but it's easier to just say no rather than why. If I say the why then the other person will discuss it and it gets debated and then I don't know what I'm trying to say or answer and I become confused then upset then frustrated then angry and the 'red mist' descends so no is easier. I probably haven't helped at all have I, it is a very difficult to know what will help without knowing the person, I just hope that you manage to find a way forward that works. Best wishes Lily.
Dear Lily , thank you for your reply , your compassion for him and insight . It's a pity you don't give talks to carers and professionals , or maybe you do .
He has said that most of his food tastes horrible and I've bluntly said there must be something wrong with his taste buds .
He won't see any medical people because he's afraid . But I wish he could take medications to take the anxiety away .
He's very precious to me and I've done everything he wants , his way . But I do have to question if it's the right thing to do .
I will take on board everything you've said and look at it from his prospective . He's a very intelligent man so this irrationality is completely unexpected . Once again thank you . I will read your post again when I'm less tired . Warmest wishes and many thanks xx
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Old 11-09-17, 02:33 PM   #7
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Default Re: Psychosis

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Frankie...it's a ghastly place to be, treading on eggshells constantly, scared that it's all going to kick off, knowing you've done nothing wrong but are still getting a barrage of abuse and accused of trying to poison them, insulted constantly - the list goes on!! I used to think my husband was schizophrenic, bipolar, going senile, psychotic, manic - but for sure crazy!! He was vile for no reason and it took me years to get him to go the doctors - course he'd get there, be as nice as pie and declare "I don't know why I'm here, I'm fine - it's her, she needs locking up, she's dangerous"....and off we'd go back home where he would start being verbally abusive all over. It was only when I lost it and hit him that someone from Alzheimers phoned our doctors and insisted that someone come round that he finally started to get help - that started with them deciding he had dementia - he was horrid to the poor doctor and terrified at the same time that I simply wanted to get rid of him/put him in a home - but through perseverance they sent him to see a neurologist and...lo and behold he has hd...so it's the medications that are keeping his behaviour under control....and I have learnt how to be tough/firm and nip any episodes in the bud by facing them straight on - it works here but I'm not saying it would for anyone else.

Not that it helps you any but I think a lot of these outbursts are borne out of fear - they are frightened they are losing their mind and it must be scary. And once they have calmed down they seem to forget all about it, whereas you are left a quivering wreck and scarred for life by the hurt they've caused. But what to do? If you call the Police....he'd never forgive you? Can you not call his doctor and demand they come round? Or his specialist if he has one? Someone from the hda - could they not advise you where to go? Then there is Social Services - they used to ring me asking if he was safe with me - I was the one considered a danger!! Whatever you do it's not going to be easy because you will get no thanks for it but you know things can't simply carry on as they are because the strain on you will literally make you ill and cause you to breakdown. If it's any comfort at all Frankie, I think this sort of behaviour reaches a peak and then as their mind deteriorates they become more compliant and nicer to you - nowadays my husband is constantly saying thankyou and sorry and I'm so grateful for all you do...so...hang on in there

Lily - your reply is so insightful...I have sudden dislikes here, there have been times when we've simply swapped plates because he says I've poisoned his meal so I swap and eat his. And I used to be told everything was disgusting and be told I can't eat that I'll throw up - it would be his favourite meal, roast beef or lamb but I realised it was to do with chewing. And I've learnt what I can give him and to cut it up as it makes it easier to eat - I do it to my food also so things look the same. But I never give a choice of what to eat because if I ask....confusion, he never knows nor ever fancies anything. The only thing he ever wants is a pizza on a Saturday night. It's the same with clothes - he simply doesn't care about his appearance, he has no interest whatsoever or in keeping clean. He hates having a shower and has become frightened of the water but can't tell me why?

I doubt I've helped in any way shape or form Frankie. but my heart goes out to you... x
Hi Shiraz ,
You have helped immensely , I do feel outside help and medication is the way forward for his sake . He was lying on his bed curled up in a little ball of fear late last night . Nobody should have to suffer that .
His meals have been a bone of contention for a long time now . Nothing is right , everything is horrible . I know he's poorly but it still hurts your feelings .
I need to try and get a mental health assessment , without them carting him off . Unfortunately we need to be careful because he's not himself .
Thank you for your help and advice . xx
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Old 26-09-17, 02:44 PM   #8
jacqueline
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Default Re: Psychosis

Quote:
Originally Posted by frankie View Post
Hi Shiraz ,
You have helped immensely , I do feel outside help and medication is the way forward for his sake . He was lying on his bed curled up in a little ball of fear late last night . Nobody should have to suffer that .
His meals have been a bone of contention for a long time now . Nothing is right , everything is horrible . I know he's poorly but it still hurts your feelings .
I need to try and get a mental health assessment , without them carting him off . Unfortunately we need to be careful because he's not himself .
Thank you for your help and advice . xx
Hi Frankie,
I think what you have to keep remembering is that he will never ever "be himself" until he is properly assessed and has the correct medication in his blood.
I had to take a Mental Health Act Assessment on my son. Not once but twice. His Mental Health professional told me to do it. I had to go through the Mental Health Team.
The problem was that he was then n his own home. He opened the door to them and kept his act together until they had gone. So both times they faiied.
Much much later on I had to actually have him sectioned for the first time while he was at my house as he had stayed overnight.
When he got up in the morning he was going to go and stab his friend who he said had been sending all these "waves" into his head all night.
To this day I don't know how I did it but I did.
I had to get in touch with a mental health doctor who actually believed me and took me seriously. He was a one off I can assure you. He did all the rest and they all came to my house at 2pm on the Sunday afternoon the same day. That took two Mental Health Doctors, a Mental Health Professional and the Police. I will never forget to this day how heartbroken I was in my kitchen while they was all in my lounge. Fortunately Frankie my son behaved as I had said to the doctor. I knew my son would never forgive me deep down. He still remembers to this day that it was me who did it.
But sadly they put him on a section 2 and released him far too early.
After that there was many incidences of him being sectioned until it became a section three for his own safety.
Frankie your HD person isn't going to get better without professional help and unfortunately, like it had to be me as there was only me, it has to be you as there is only you. There is no other way or other person who can do it to keep him safe and put him in a better place for his health sakes. Once he gets the correct medication you will give praise for this sad piece of advice.

Once you see the person on the up you will truly praise the powers that be that gave you the heart-breaking strength it is going to take for you to do it. You will be able to sleep at night knowing that it had to be, and you and only you at last made this beautiful person safe.
You know I am here for you Frankie.
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Old 26-09-17, 02:51 PM   #9
jacqueline
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Default Re: Psychosis

I have also to say that sometimes when I was mentaly at the end of my tether I occasionally blew my top to extreme and shouted and created at my ex hubby and my son after them being so awkward and unreasonable to the highest.
BUT believe it or not they then turned into kittens with me................................................ .....well for a while anyway.
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