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Old 29-04-18, 03:19 AM   #1
Reggie
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 1
Default Engaged to positive person

Hello,

I was curious if anyone has advice on my situation. I am currently engaged to someone who tested positive (CAG 51) last year. We are both 28, live together for the most part, and have been engaged for 3 years, delays because of schooling. She is showing early symptoms; clumsiness, apathy, preoccupied with online shopping, not interested in going out, not interested in me. She believes she still loves me, and is very sweet most of the time, but she no longer truly cares about what I'm up to or how I am. Her family is very supportive, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. But they recently have insisted that I immediately follow through with the marriage or immediately end the relationship. Either choice sounds horrific to me. I can't bear the thought of breaking her heart at such an emotionally vulnerable point in her life. But a marriage at this point would feel hollow, depressing, and I'm clinging to the thought of being able throw in the towel at my breaking point. When you marry, you promise to go beyond that breaking point. Am I hiding from reality if I just want to stay the current course?
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Old 30-04-18, 10:05 AM   #2
Runningmum
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 12
Default Re: Engaged to positive person

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reggie View Post
Hello,

I was curious if anyone has advice on my situation. I am currently engaged to someone who tested positive (CAG 51) last year. We are both 28, live together for the most part, and have been engaged for 3 years, delays because of schooling. She is showing early symptoms; clumsiness, apathy, preoccupied with online shopping, not interested in going out, not interested in me. She believes she still loves me, and is very sweet most of the time, but she no longer truly cares about what I'm up to or how I am. Her family is very supportive, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. But they recently have insisted that I immediately follow through with the marriage or immediately end the relationship. Either choice sounds horrific to me. I can't bear the thought of breaking her heart at such an emotionally vulnerable point in her life. But a marriage at this point would feel hollow, depressing, and I'm clinging to the thought of being able throw in the towel at my breaking point. When you marry, you promise to go beyond that breaking point. Am I hiding from reality if I just want to stay the current course?
Hi
In my opinion you shouldn't go through with it. You're only young and clearly have doubts already. It would be a very hard path for you and any children. Short term pain would mean you can move on with YOUR life.
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Old 30-04-18, 10:48 AM   #3
banda
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Consett, County Durham
Posts: 480
Default Re: Engaged to positive person

It isn't any of their business so you could tell them that politely? But perhaps you should know why...is it because they think you are going to up and off which you could do married or not? I think being married and being someone's carer are two different things just that lots of us do both. Not an easy one...take care xx
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Old 30-04-18, 10:24 PM   #4
Cupcake
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: East Anglia
Posts: 1,490
Default Re: Engaged to positive person

I donít think you should marry just because her family say so or equally break up. It is a difficult one, but you are young and being with someone with HD is very hard. I was married to my hubby for 30 yrs and did not know about HD until the last 5 yrs, it was challenging, but I adored him and loved him so much I could not have considered leaving him. For you starting out in life and both being so young, you should consider how much you love her, what your life together will be, and what you want from life. Please donít stay if you donít love her, you will only hurt both of you, but if you really love her and decide to stay, you can do that without marriage as well.
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