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Old 29-04-15, 10:35 AM   #1
Allan
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Default Where can I put Woody's words so that they are read?

.
Woody used to write his thoughts on any scrap of paper he could get hold of. He had a message to tell about how this god-awful disease was affecting him in his latter years ......

From Instinct to Institution: Woodyís Words

"I want you to pay a lot more attention to all my words - longer and deeper and quieter and louder than I ever could. Youíll get more out of them than I did around here."

"Hereís my funny feeling over me again.
That lost feeling.
That gone feeling.
That old empty whipped feeling.

Shaky. Bad control. Out of control. Jumpy. Jerky. High tension.
Least little thing knocks my ego down below zero mark.
Everything cuts into me and hurts me several times more than it should.
Everything hits me. A word or a look or an action of anybody here deals me a misery.

Iíve not got strength to go on, nor to see things in the light as they should be. No bodily (physical) pains; just like my arms and legs and hands and feet and my whole body belongs to somebody else and not to me; so ashamed of myself I want to run hide away where nobody can find me nor see how bad I feel. Can they tell by looking at me how useless and weak and flimsy and artificial (and how phoney) I feel?

Worse than this, I ask myself what makes me [break my head???] to try to hide my weak jitters? Why donít I break down and spill them out all over to the first person I see?
Why donít I?
Why?

It would all be over (the worst of it) if I could only cave in and fall down and tell everybody how I feel.

My trouble isnít in the dizzy spell nor the pains not in my [weakly???] feeling, but my worst pains come because I spend every drop of my bodily strength trying to hide my trouble away so you canít see it; trying to keep you from reading it in my face, or my eyes, or in any words Iíd say or in that stumbly way I walk around.

We never try to help our coal miners till our mine caves in; we never can let you help us till our pride caves in, and till our fears cave in.

This business of trying to hide our weaker feelings surely surely must be in all of us. Surely Iím not the only man on this ward that hides all this as long as he can. Everybody does it; everybody tries to hide it soís youíll never guess how bad and how empty we feel.

Some of us hide it more (and longer) than others. Some of us break down under it sooner than others; some talk it out, some weep it out, some yell and scream and curse it out, some battle and fight it out; all of us drive it out in our own way, but all of us must get your help, must borrow your bosom to cry on, must ask you to help us, must break our damn fool secrecy and our damn fool pride on your shoulder.

Why do I stall off my own breakdown like I do? Ö Could be partly because Iíve just never been in a hospital like this before and my own crazy pride keeps holding me back from breaking down and letting you know how thin and how bad and how miserable I feel."

Woody Guthrie: born 1912; died 1967

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Old 30-04-15, 10:09 AM   #2
shiraz
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Default Re: Where can I put Woody's words so that they are read?

Hi Woody Fan

I think maybe Allan was being rhetorical with the title there Jacqueline, as in trying to get us all to read these words...where can I put them? Well here will do just fine coz I'm reading them aren't I kind of thing. His cunning little plan worked!! Coz we've taken a butchers....

There are a few posts at the moment about difficult behaviours and trying to understand what is happening inside the HD brain and this writing certainly gives a real insight into the fear and confusion and battle. I know I've read it before but like a lot of things it is good to revisit and remind yourself. Different points become more pertinent. It is a sad slippery slope.
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Old 30-04-15, 10:51 PM   #3
Stuart
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Default Re: Where can I put Woody's words so that they are read?

That is a great piece of writing from Mr Guthrie.
He is so correct saying that most people try to hide their troubles, whether HD or something else, until they can't take it and everything starts to cave in.
Poor Woody.
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Old 02-05-15, 03:57 PM   #4
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Default Re: Where can I put Woody's words so that they are read?

http://www.folkarchive.de/lastth.html

This is a link to Bob Dylans excellent poem "Last thoughts on Woody Guthrie"

I think I read somewhere that he wrote it after visiting Woody in hospital.

Marianna Palka took the name for her film "The Lions Mouth Opens" from a line in here.
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Old 28-05-15, 12:29 PM   #5
Allan
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Default Re: Where can I put Woody's words so that they are read?

.
Hereís something typically ďPunkĒ and very raw Ö. have a listen

Heroes Don't Die - Huntington's Disease. Click me!

In 1961, it was already underway
I left Greystone Park for a hospital called Brooklyn State
And while I was rotting there, my best girl Marjorie
Would visit with the children every Sunday.
And this kid from Minnesota, went by the name of Rob
Said I was his idol and had written me a tune
I listened to him play, I heard the young man sing
He looked into my eyes as though I could be king.

You wanted me to stay, I tried but had to leave
It wasn't me that yelled it was Huntington's Disease
My mother had the same disorder
I can't be your hero anymore

By the end I know I was hard, hard to be around
The good days were so few and the bad days much worse
And the last time that you came I didn't recognize your face
October 3 of 1967 and I was done.

You wanted me to stay, I tried but had to leave
It wasn't me that yelled it was Huntington's Disease
My mother had the same disorder
I can't be your hero anymore

Don't remember as I am, remember how I was
Barely old enough to shave bound for glory on the rails
Leaving behind Okemah for California
Singing dustbowl ballads about the people along the way
And back on Mermaid Avenue, I wish I could have scribbled down some music to the tune.

You wanted me to stay, I tried but had to leave
It wasn't me that yelled it was Huntington's Disease
My son you're getting so much older
I can't be your hero anymore

But when I'm gone, carry on


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Old 29-05-15, 01:58 AM   #6
toosh
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Default Re: Where can I put Woody's words so that they are read?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Allan View Post
.
Woody used to write his thoughts on any scrap of paper he could get hold of. He had a message to tell about how this god-awful disease was affecting him in his latter years ......

From Instinct to Institution: Woodyís Words

"I want you to pay a lot more attention to all my words - longer and deeper and quieter and louder than I ever could. Youíll get more out of them than I did around here."

"Hereís my funny feeling over me again.
That lost feeling.
That gone feeling.
That old empty whipped feeling.

Shaky. Bad control. Out of control. Jumpy. Jerky. High tension.
Least little thing knocks my ego down below zero mark.
Everything cuts into me and hurts me several times more than it should.
Everything hits me. A word or a look or an action of anybody here deals me a misery.

Iíve not got strength to go on, nor to see things in the light as they should be. No bodily (physical) pains; just like my arms and legs and hands and feet and my whole body belongs to somebody else and not to me; so ashamed of myself I want to run hide away where nobody can find me nor see how bad I feel. Can they tell by looking at me how useless and weak and flimsy and artificial (and how phoney) I feel?

Worse than this, I ask myself what makes me [break my head???] to try to hide my weak jitters? Why donít I break down and spill them out all over to the first person I see?
Why donít I?
Why?

It would all be over (the worst of it) if I could only cave in and fall down and tell everybody how I feel.

My trouble isnít in the dizzy spell nor the pains not in my [weakly???] feeling, but my worst pains come because I spend every drop of my bodily strength trying to hide my trouble away so you canít see it; trying to keep you from reading it in my face, or my eyes, or in any words Iíd say or in that stumbly way I walk around.

We never try to help our coal miners till our mine caves in; we never can let you help us till our pride caves in, and till our fears cave in.

This business of trying to hide our weaker feelings surely surely must be in all of us. Surely Iím not the only man on this ward that hides all this as long as he can. Everybody does it; everybody tries to hide it soís youíll never guess how bad and how empty we feel.

Some of us hide it more (and longer) than others. Some of us break down under it sooner than others; some talk it out, some weep it out, some yell and scream and curse it out, some battle and fight it out; all of us drive it out in our own way, but all of us must get your help, must borrow your bosom to cry on, must ask you to help us, must break our damn fool secrecy and our damn fool pride on your shoulder.

Why do I stall off my own breakdown like I do? Ö Could be partly because Iíve just never been in a hospital like this before and my own crazy pride keeps holding me back from breaking down and letting you know how thin and how bad and how miserable I feel."

Woody Guthrie: born 1912; died 1967

.
Great words from Woody
I am sure this is how A feels sometimes about trying to hide hoe he really feels.
Toosh
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