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Old 03-03-18, 09:52 PM   #1
Penny123
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Default Care homes

Hi
Just wondering if anyone has felt lost when their partner has gone into a care home?
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Old 05-03-18, 11:06 PM   #2
charliegirl
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Default Re: Care homes

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Hi
Just wondering if anyone has felt lost when their partner has gone into a care home?
Hi . I am so sorry - things must be really difficult. I donít have experience of that but my father ended up in a care home - as he was very vulnerable and needed care . I visited him a lot and took him out when he was up to it , we can only do our best not the impossible , some days - I would end up in tears and other days were better Lv Charlie girl 🐶 xx
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Old 07-03-18, 07:11 PM   #3
Penny123
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Default Re: Care homes

Thanks, was feeling particularly lost that day , in fact most days. there are lots of emotions to deal with when your partner is no longer living with you. I appreciate your reply
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Old 08-03-18, 08:50 PM   #4
banda
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Default Re: Care homes

No experience but thank you for sharing...can only imagine what it must be like...we all just live a life of grief. Take care xx
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Old 09-03-18, 03:46 AM   #5
Annie
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Default Re: Care homes

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Hi
Just wondering if anyone has felt lost when their partner has gone into a care home?
Definitely! Its a weird mix of emotions- I have been blessed by not feeling too guilty, mostly its of loss- of a companion, someone to share stuff with, to rant about the teenagers with, to wonder at a sunset with or even just hold hands. My husband has been in a care home (locally) now a nursing home further away for a total of 5 years.
Now he is further away I dont get the chance to help him shave or cut his nails - sorry if that is weird. I try and get to know and support his carers in any way I can. In both homes I have found solace in tending the gardens - both for me , for my husband and for other residents and staff. It reduces the feeling of not contributing to the long term care at home I had expected. It has taken a while to realise that I could not do that for year after year. HD is a long journey. Its a different kind of bereavement. Look after yourself.
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Old 09-03-18, 08:46 AM   #6
howard
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Default Re: Care homes

I am just in the process of trying to decide whether it is time for my wife to go into a care home. She has been symptomatic for over twenty years, first behavioural and emotional symptoms, but now very badly physically affected (swallowing, walking, slurred speech etc). I feel just about at the end of my tether and family and friends are thinking that it is getting near time too. I am worried by the financial implications etc. Just wondered if anyone else has advice on who to talk too and anything else which would help in making a decision.

Thanks

Howard
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Old 13-03-18, 09:39 PM   #7
Annie
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Default Re: Care homes

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I am just in the process of trying to decide whether it is time for my wife to go into a care home. She has been symptomatic for over twenty years, first behavioural and emotional symptoms, but now very badly physically affected (swallowing, walking, slurred speech etc). I feel just about at the end of my tether and family and friends are thinking that it is getting near time too. I am worried by the financial implications etc. Just wondered if anyone else has advice on who to talk too and anything else which would help in making a decision.

Thanks

Howard
Hi Howard,
Not easy- it all happened very suddenly in our family. Do talk to your SHDA. Look up Continuing Health Care - really complex but may ease your worries financially. All the best , A
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Old 15-03-18, 02:32 PM   #8
Brian2001
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Default Re: Care homes

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Originally Posted by Penny123 View Post
Hi
Just wondering if anyone has felt lost when their partner has gone into a care home?
Yes, I felt lost when my Wife Vanessa moved into a nursing home.
I also felt my role as carer was severely diminished.

I have written lots about choosing a care home, getting to know ALL staff, the process of still caring when your loved one is not in the family home.
(hopefully a search will bring up my relevant posts...)

I wish you lots of strength to get through the heartbreaking times ahead.

Brian.
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Old 15-03-18, 02:42 PM   #9
Brian2001
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Default Re: Care homes

Quote:
Originally Posted by howard View Post
I am just in the process of trying to decide whether it is time for my wife to go into a care home. She has been symptomatic for over twenty years, first behavioural and emotional symptoms, but now very badly physically affected (swallowing, walking, slurred speech etc). I feel just about at the end of my tether and family and friends are thinking that it is getting near time too. I am worried by the financial implications etc. Just wondered if anyone else has advice on who to talk too and anything else which would help in making a decision.

Thanks

Howard
hi Howard, `it is a minefield when seeking nursing care for a loved one.
From my experience: never give up battling for what you feel is right. Challenge every decision you feel is weak or wrong. Make it clear that 'they' are there to look after your loved one and not to be your friend. Be prepared to fall out with all that do not do their best on behalf of your loved one.
This is the ONLY way to be able to put your hand on your heart and say:
' I have done my best today, given the information I have'.

-wishing you strength to battle through the challenges ahead.
(please search for my past posts where I cover some of the challenges)

Brian.
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Old 22-03-18, 08:20 PM   #10
howard
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Default Re: Care homes

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Hi Howard,
Not easy- it all happened very suddenly in our family. Do talk to your SHDA. Look up Continuing Health Care - really complex but may ease your worries financially. All the best , A
Thanks Annie. I shall certainly try for NHS Continuing Healthcare.
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